My Edward?
by Guilt
Summary: Edward was zapped by a weird figure, after being rushed to the hospital by his brother and Roy Mustang they learn from the nurse that he has become a GIRL! What difficulties may this cause? Sorry to you FMA loving fangirls!...DON'T KILL ME!
1. Chapter 1

**Warning! Contains nose-bleeds, whimpering, wet shirts, perverts and more nose-bleeds!**

**My Edward?**

**Chapter 1: WTF? MAGIC SEX-CHANGE?**

_ It happened **WAY** too fast! Ed and Al were fighting the homunculi, weird figure that no one knew appeared, zapped Ed with energy, then disappeared!_

Alphonse ran to the nearest hospital as fast as his metal legs let him, Edward in his arms, all covered in blood. As lucky as the fact Ed was alive Roy Mustang happened to be walking by, he bumped into Al, "Oh, hi Al-OMG! #0LY $#!T! Is that Edward! He's painted in BLOOD!" "Hewaszappedbyaweirdfigureandbecameunconscious, thenthesinsbeathimup!" "I see…WHY DON'T YOU BRING HIM TO THE HOSTIPTAL THEN!" "I WAS ON MY WAY!" "…oh!"

When they made it to the hospital, Ed had become cold to the touch, completely weak, still unconscious! After bringing him in, Alphonse and Roy waited for several hours till…

A nurse came out with sweat pouring down her face and shock in her eyes, "I've got bad news and good news for you two," she began to cry, cupping her hands over face.

"What! Did he go into a coma!" asked Al desperately.

"Did he become a cripple!" asked Roy wide eyed.

"The bad new is sniffles the young man that had come in here has become a young lady! He also forgot his life as a boy and thinks he has been a girl since birth!" the nurse cried even louder, then ran away.

Al and Roy's jaws dropped.

"The good news is that he has become incredibly cute, and has become taller!" said a doctor who came out of the hospital room, he had a bleeding nose though.

Roy ran into the room and saw a beautiful young lady sitting on the bed. Her hair draped down to her shoulders, her skin looked soft and even, her body was slim and well built and her eyes were sort of pale gold. She was noticeably taller, the metal arm and leg didn't seem to match, she was wearing a white female patience's outfit. Was this even Edward? As Roy came forward to the girl sitting on the bed he tripped over and hit his head on the table by the bed, and the vase of water and flowers tipped over and hit Ed.

"Ed I'm so sor-WHOA!" Roy had had gotten up only to find his eyes fixed on Ed's chest, her thin white shirt was wet and she wasn't wearing a bra. Roy got a nose-bleed then got up to look somemore.

"EXCUSE ME! My face is up here Flame PERVERT!" said the girlish Ed annoyed, she then threw a punch atthe mega pervert's facefor he kept staring.

Then Alphonse came in, his over protective brother powers activated **"YOU PERVERT DARE TO LOOK AT MY SISTER PERVERTEDLY!" **Al boomed, towering over the chibi itty-bitty Roy. Roy then whimpered in a tiny corner of the room. Alphonse had never been so scary.

Ed felt better after a few days, she kicked both the chibis out of the room so she could change. When she got out of the room there was a major…thing that was needed to be adjusted! Ed came out, her black shirt showed her petite stomach and was tight on her chest "Hmmm…when did I get taller? And when did the shirt have such tight fit?" Edward said to herself "I think I need to go shopping for new clothes, but what to buy…?"

"I know! Lets buy you miniskirts, I'll come and judge how you look!" suggested the perverted Roy Mustang excitedly with a twinkle in his eye.

"…"

Well that is it folks, for now. You may criticize in your reviews, BUT I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU! Joking! I'm just bad in writing stories! I actually got the idea from another anime fanfiction!


	2. Chapter 2

_**My Edward?**_

**Chapter 2: Lust vs. Edward, beauty contest showdown!**

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The now girlish Edward went to the market to buy 'new' clothes, Roy Pervert and Overprotective Al tagged along. Ed bought herself a bathing suit, shirts and 'not so mini' skirts, poor Roy! Then the beauty contest began, it was at the park.

"Hellooooooooooo! Beautiful and more beautiful women out there! The beauty contest will begin today! So sign-up today!" said the announcer threw the microphone.

"Strange! The completion just started and I never knew! I must have been in the hospital too long!" spoke Edward, she desided she was going to enter.

She stood in front of one of the judges, the judge came up to inspect her a little more but he accidentally tipped over his glass of water that fell on Ed's some how new white shirt, unfortunately Ed forgot to get herself some bras.

"I'm terribly sor-WHOA!" the clumsy judge took a good look at her 'white shirt', he fell backwards with a nosebleed. He got up to look somemore.

"What is it with guys and girls chest? DAMN YOU PERVERTS!" Edward shrieked thrusting her metal fist at the pervert's face. Ouch!

She changed her white clothes into nice and black ones. The other judges let her into the beauty contest. Yay! Now the fun begins! MUHAHAHAHA! Little did she know that the equally beautiful sin, Lust had entered the contest too. Anyway everyone had their butts kicked by Edward and Lust ( literally and non-literally! ) and then Lust and Edward went face to face. They both wore long black overcoats.

"I didn't know you entered the contest too!" yelled Edward.

"Wait, who are you?" question Lust, confused who this young lady was.

"It's me Edward! Duhhh!" Ed replied, Lust still looked confused. Ed's jaw dropped 'Had everyone suddenly become retarted? First Roy becomes a pervert! Then Al becomes so overprotective, it's scary! Then more perverts, and now a forgetful sin, do homunculus even forget?'

Then Lust removed her overcoat to reveal a one piece bathing suit covering her, all then judges gave her 9 out of 10. Then Ed removed her overcoat to reveal…a gold bikini! The top and bottom were gold! Ed used her alchemy to turn her automail parts gold! Unfortunately, all the judges were automail geeks. They gave her 100 out of 10, is that even possible? Anyway, she won the prize, 1million dollars, 12 different bathing suits, 12 different outfits, and many gift certificates!

**Lust got so0o mad that she screeched till she exploded, then revived, then exploded, then revive, then exploded, then revive, then exploded, then revive, then exploded, then revive , then exploded, then revive, then…well you got the point!**

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_Well, you can send me your thanks, complaints, hate mail, fan letters and suggestions of which homunculus will die next by the fury of Edward the Fullmetal Alchemist beauty! Sorry it's so short!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning!** May contain extreme homosexuality revealed and swearing children! _Oh! and character death!_

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_**Chapter3: Extreme Changes**_

**Part1**

Ed, Al and Roy were walking down the street and decided to go to the top of a really high building for no reason. They climbed all the millions of steps to the top of the building, "Wait! Couldn't we simply just use the elevator!" yelled Al to the idiots. "OH! But Al! We're already half way up!" whimpered Ed crying. "NO! We're on the first step!" "Oh!" But what the #3LL! They continued climbing the steps for hours, only to reach the first again? Then they all decided to just to use the elevator.

As soon as they reached the top0 they saw Major Armstrong sitting on a chair watching the sun set? It was noon already? Then Armstrong turned to look at the at was surprised at the way Edward looked.

"What happened to Edward? H-he-he's become hideous!" the Major said looking pretty freaked-out. Roy went to Armstrong and whimpered what happened.

"How could you say he has become hideous?" asked Roy curiously.

Armstrong took out a picture of Ed without a shirt on (still in guy form picture). He looked at girl-Ed, then picture of boy-Ed, then girl-Ed, then picture of boy-Ed, then girl-Ed, then picture of boy-Ed, and then a monkey jumping on a trampoline. "H-how could this happen?" asked Armstrong desperately.

"An even bigger question is why you have a picture of Ed without a shirt!" questioned Roy.

"YEAH! YOU PERVERTED $$#0L3!" yelled Ed so angry Al had to knock her out so she couldn't attack the Major.

"I! ERM…UH…WELL…HEEHEE…DON'T HURT ME!" whimpered the chibi Armstrong, he the jumped off the roof of the building. Amazingly he didn't fall to his doom, unfortunately he fell right beside Lust who was still angry for losing the beauty contest, she exploded out of anger and killed him! Too bad!

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**Part2**

Elicia and her father Maes Hughes were walking down the street, then they saw Ed, Al and…what! Still Roy…Mr. Hughes was confused, he didn't know which was cuter. His daughter or Ed (somehow he didn't notice that Ed had sex-change.

He decided it was Ed… he fell to his knees "No Elicia! I have betrayed you!" he cried into the air for several minutes. Elicia grabbed his gun and shot him in the head **"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY TRAITOR!** I'm enjoying an ice cream I stole off a little kid!" Elicia yelled, the calmly licked her ice cream.

Everyone was surprised she swore out loud. Then Maes revived because he was already dead but he had a huge hole in his head (how was he supposed to explain this to Gracia?

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( In Santa's secret hideout )

Santa ran to his list of good kids and bad, crying, he crossed off Elicia's name from the good list and put it in the bad for swearing. He fell to his knees "No Elicia! I have betrayed you!" he too cried into the air for several minutes. Elicia grabbed his candy cane and shoved it down his throat and watched his choke to death on it **"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY TRAITOR!** I'm enjoying a hot cup of cocoa I stole off an elf!" Elicia yelled, the calmly sipped her hot cocoa, only to burn her tongue (that's bad karma for ya!)

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_Well that is the 3rd chapter for ya! Critisize, complain and tell me how to improve in your reviews!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning!**_ Winry is a cradle robber! Oh! And Roy is perverted again!_

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_Chapter4: Winry and Alphonse!_

Unfortunately for Ed, she tripped over a cute, fuzzy, evil hamster named Mhataro (pronounced Ma-ha-tar-oh) breaking both her automails. "**I CURSE THEE TO ETERNAL TORMENT IN THE 13 HELLS OF DEATH! Squeek!"** said the cutely fiendish hamster in a surprisingly low voice, 5 seconds later Roy stepped on it.

"I save thee fair maiden!" announced Roy, he picked up Ed in his arms and put her on the bench. Roy then desided to be perverted and touched Ed's butt. Slap! Ed slapped Roy so hard.

Suddenly Miroku came out of no where "Smooth. Real smooth!" he said mockingly to Roy.

"HEY! You want some of this?" yelled Ed waving her fist at Miroku, then it broke. Though Miroku already ran away.

Suddenly Winry appeared from no where "**IS THAT THE SOUND OF METAL BREAKING? EDWARD!" **she boomed, then she went to Al to ask what happened to Ed. "OH! Thank god! Now that Ed is out of the way I can be with you forever Al!"

"…" Al was speechless.

"I didn't want to hurt Ed's feelings by telling him I didn't like him! But now that he is a girl I can live happily!"

"**WAIT! YOU THOUGHT I WAS LESBIAN! WE WERE JUST BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!"** Ed barked, automail magically fixed.

Suddenly Winry soul binded herself into a pink armor that appeared from no where.

_**Winry and Alfonse forever!**_

_**(Sorry Alfonse loving fangirls!)**_

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Criticize, Opinionate and also send hate mail! I DON'T MIND! Sorry for the short chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

_**My Edward?**_

**Chapter5: Dating!**

Roy went into Edward's room to see if she was partially naked (obviously) anyway he went in and saw Edward in her pajamas. Edward notices this and hits him on his head with a pillow full of very non-low fat, unhealthy, heavy chocolate bars!

"Who on earth puts non-low fat, unhealthy, heavy chocolate bars in a pillow case!" Yelled Roy rubbing the big bump forming on his head.

"I thought I could trust you! Because I love you…" replied Ed angerly.

"You l-l-love me?"

"Like a brother, **BROTHER**, I hope your ok with that." Finished Edward.

"For s-sure!" replied Roy sadly.

"Oh good! Then I would like to say that I am going out with Russell Tringham!"

"**WHAT? THE VERY GUY YOU WANTED TO DESTROY FOR PRETENDING TO BE YOU?"is so flattering**

"Well, when you look at it from a certain angle you see that he is so sweet! Pretending to be me because I am the best alchemist out there instead of using any other lame alchemist's name is so flattering…besides I always thought he was sort of dreamy!"

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"**

Roy stopped his yelling for a brief moment to take a breath.

"**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"**

Then another brief moment to take a breath.

"**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**

Then he exploded, nothing else to say, boy this sucks!

Unfortunately no one was there to see him die because Edward left out of boredom so they thought he moved elsewhere to chase girls in skirts.

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_I would like to say that this series seems to lead nowhere and that the next chapter I write will be my last. (Maybe)_


	6. Chapter 6

_**My Edward Finally?**_

In the previous chapter: "Oh no! The guy out there is drowning! I can't swim!" fast forwards "Leave me! A women is drowning over there!" fast forwards "How come you didn't save her! I told you to just leave me!"…WAIT! this is the episode preview for the TV show Lost…WAIT! I never had previous chapter summaries! Never mind!

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Chapter6: All just a dream…YEAH RIGHT!

_Suddenly the sky darkens and something falls threw the sky…HOLY$#!T! It's an angry Edward fan! Everyone hide the children and women! Escape while you can! NOOOOOOOOO! It's too late for me! Run while you can! _**Wait! This is so out of place! Change of plan! I enter into the story! MUHAHAHA!**

I fall threw the sky right on to the solid pavement!

"HOLY$#!T! Couldn't I have landed on a poor soft innocent child instead?" I say.

I look around and realize I'm in my own fanfiction! "SWEET!"

I look and see Envy. "Oh hi!"

Envy turns his hand into a sword and impales me threw the chest! "HOLY$#!T! That was my brand new stylish 'I hate Envy yet respect him' shirt I got from the dollar store! NOOO!"

I takeout my fanfiction writing note book and write the "'I hate envy fans' fall from the sky and destroy him! Muhahaha!"

Envy was buried in hateful girls and turned into boy Edward transformation. All the girls thought he was Edward and left him alone. Suddenly Major Armstrong came and hugged the Envy-Edward!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed the suffering Envy. I feel sorry for him! Oh well!

Suddenly a giant wormhole sucks me up and brings me back home! NO!

_I wake up in my bed, was it a dream? Who the #3LL cares! I was having the time of my life!_

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_I know it was short and weak but I have no regrets! And yes! I do like saying HOLY$#!T! If you a part 2 to this series tell me in your reviews!_

_Part2 summary (if you want a part 2): Envy escapes the fan girls and decides to pretend to be Michael Jackson! Roy who somehow gets revived gets a girlfriend, Sloth! Wrath falls for the psychotic Elicia! Isumi has a new son! Edward and Russell relationship…_


	7. preview

_**A preview of my next fanfiction**_

_Edward (girl ed) was walking to her bed room when she saw the most disturbing thing you'd ever seen it! It was even more disturbing than a really fat old man shaking his but in you're face! It was…?_

_A: A hamster licking itself_

_B: Alicia cutting off Roy's head_

_C: Winry showing everyone what's inside her armor_

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_u vote! or submit ur idea of my new fanfic's beginning!_


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